why gambling is amazing

so yeh, gambling. along with burgers and video games it is another vice of mine. i say vice, but i don't see the freaking problem. yeh i guess i have lost money over the years, and i always hear horror stories on jeremy kyle about how it broke up a family and the kid went without this or that cause the parents were buying scratchcards or some shizzit.

but well, get over it losers! gambling rocks! it's the thrill! the spill the, the ya know! just the chance of it! sometimes i am up, sometimes i am down. but well, i can always cheat at poker and take mega bucks of uncle tony's mafia friends. and anyway yeh i know, what if you get in over your head morris? well there was a time when i was a little freaked out cause i owed money to some pretty heavy russian hamster mafia types. they showed up to my house (crib) and had bats and pinned me down and shit. all like getting crazy and stuff wanting there dolla back (or was it rubles??)....and yeh they totally broke my legs and shit and called the debt payed. so now you are all thinking, morris that is awful i never want my legs broke man! and well, neither did yours truly but well it wasn't a problem....not a problem i hear you say? how is having your legs broken not a problem??? cause i am a freaking STUFFED TOY! i don't even have bones! i just taped some lolly pop sticks to the back of my legs to give em an authentic snap noise. sure fooled those mafia er.....fools

so long story short, gambling isn't for losers and morons and down and outs! gambling is awesome! and yeh, it's a bit selfish to piss all your cash away on scratchcards but i got more class than that......i bet on the dogs and the GG's. with the dogs i always bet on the toy rabbit (he's a friend of mine, ralph is his name, man he puts those dogs to shame)

anyway, flip it, ya only live once, yeh the house always wins, but i live in a house and yeh it's getting taken off me by the bank cause i mortgaged it 14 times to pay for my debts but i am still a high roller yo....

M.M.M